Olympians are doin' it, doin' it and doin' it well, to rephrase one LL Cool J.
We're talking about athletics, of course. But the same applies to sexuality at the Games.
Ten-thousand of the world's most finely tuned athletes are living in dorm-style housing for the Rio Olympics. They're swiping right like crazy Tinder. They're in a city renowned for its sex openness. Once they finish their scheduled rivalries, culminating years of training, they're trying to blow off some steam.
Looks like the situation calls for hmmm, let's see here oh, about a half a million condoms. Seriously, though: Rio organizers stocked the Olympic Village and other venues with 450,000 condoms this year, a record for the Games.
It's time, ladies and gentlemen, to discuss sexuality at the 2016 Olympics.
We'll get to the condoms, but let's start with the Tinder. Matches in the Olympic Village spiked by 129 percent last weekend, according to company spokesperson Rosette Pambakian. Tinder expects that tendency to continue after the app rose to prominence in the Olympic Village during the 2014 Winter Game in Sochi, Russia.
Marcus Nyman, who's in Brazil to compete for Sweden in judo, told the Associated Press he got 10 Tinder matches after about a day in Rio. Fencer Yemi Apithy, from the West African nation of Benin, said that he's “for sure” gotten matches, too, because “I am a pretty boy.”
That's the thing: Rio's Olympic village is full of fairly men and women right now, highly trained athletes with sculpted bodies and the physical staman to, um, “train” all night. As American javelin thrower Breaux Greer told ESPN in 2012: “Even if their face is a seven, their body is a 20. “
And no matter your sex orientation, sex drive or sexual mores the Olympics are an extremely rare human experience.
“With a once-in-a-lifetime experience, you want to build memories, whether it's sexual, partying or on the field, ” Hope Solo told ESPN during the London Olympics. “I've insured people having sexuality right out in the open. On the grass, between buildings, people are getting down and dirty.”
Needless to say, you're going need a lot of condoms. That year in London, organizers provided 150,000. Two years later in Sochi, the reported number was 100,000. That's the same total as the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, where condom wrappers were branded with the Olympic motto: “Faster. Higher. Stronger.”
But never in human history has there been an Olympic condom count anywhere near Rio's total of 450, 000. The condoms come from condom-dispensing machines with little levers one turns to get a rubber just like buying a gumball. The prophylactic-issuing machines read, “Celebrate with a condom! “( Yes, the exclamation mark is included .)
You can even grab one on your way out of the dining hall, as shown in this photo from Yahoo's Greg Wyshynski.
Single greatest thing in #Rio2016 athletes' village?
The condom machine AT THE EXIT OF THE DINING HALL. pic.twitter.com/ pt9RbKyiH9
Greg Wyshynski (@ wyshynski) August 4, 2016
But there's a catch.
You have to turn the thing and it is really loud. I just sort of went in and got a couple and then left, to be honest, Clarke Johnstone, an equestrian athlete from New Zealand, told USA Today .
Conventional Olympic-sex wisdom runs like this: As the 16 -day Game wear on, more and more athletes finish vying; then they get to boning.
When you go to the village in the beginning, its relatively quiet. Everybodys doing their thing. Running to the mess hall, coming back home, saying hello along the way, and then back to develop, ” American fencer Race Imboden told Yahoo‘s Wyshynski. “But then, as the days start get into the actual events, there will be people coming back to the village at 12 oclock yell and screaming. And youll, like, meet people and youll just know the village is get a little louder and a bit more rowdy and then its merely a party.”
Make that a very exclusive party, and one stocked with lots of condoms.
The Associated Press contributed to this report .